Sick, sick, sick. These people are always sick. First Johnny catches the flu, then Sam gets back pain. Next I find out Susan is pregnant. Don't they know I have a business to run? Businesses don't run themselves. They need actual people there, operating the machinery, making decisions, making client contact to keep us growing—to keep us thriving.

So, how do I fix this problem? How do I get them to stop being sick?

There are a number of theories available out there, one of which is to provide a healthy work environment. Now, this can be taken either figuratively or literally or both. Perhaps I can give Sam his more comfortable work chair, Johnny his flu shot, and Susan, well, her year off to raise her baby, I guess.

Or, I could install air purifiers and maybe even some plants to keep the air enriched and oxygenated. Or what about a regular...hmmm...monthly medical checkup? Wait, I got it—I'll get them all medical insurance. That way, they can all go the doctor on their own, outside of work hours...

Besides that, well, I've heard the term psychosomatic symptoms. Apparently, if you're feeling down or depressed or completely miserable about something taking place in your life, you become sick. Heck, what am I supposed to do about this? I'm just their employer. I can't control if Johnny's wife told him off that morning or if Sam's is throwing him out, or if Susan's husband can't keep his hands off her and she keeps getting pregnant! What exactly am I supposed to do about that?

How can I run a business with pregnant women running around–throwing up in my bathroom?

Oh, wait, yes...I was born that way too. Oh, and yes, I caught the flu once, I think. Oh, and back pain is the pits. The real pits. I hurt my back lifting a pregnant woman while I had the flu a few years back.

Maybe I should hire robots. They never get sick.

Or maybe not.

I'd be alone with my ailments.