Legally, Two Wrongs Made a Right: [sic]

 

I work somewhere in the field of law...actually, I work on depositions, and no-- I really can't talk about much.  I signed an NDA that would curl your hair (and straighten the curly ones) which I take seriously.  Truly, most depositions aren't that remarkable.  Just people on the make... hurt, sick, and looking for a way to make others pay for their own mistakes, mostly, if not entirely.  I don't find people like that interesting.

Then again I do get some funny stories... maybe...

...I'm reading this expert witness deposition and up pops a word I thought was a dyspronunciation or a pooched transcription: Arthrosclerosis.

Well, that's too close to "atherosclerosis" so I put a [sic] on it, as is policy, and then it pops up again.  So I do a CTRL+F and it's used like ten times...(!)

Google time... turns out yes, it's a word, and yes, it mostly means "stiff joints" (any good arachnid knows what "arthropod" means) but an alternate meaning really is "fatty plaque in arteries"... I just keep hitting Google entries to make sure it's not just a widespread malapropism and I find this phrase: "Arthrosclerosis is the major cause of cerberovascular accidents..."

Right... Cerbero-vascular... so of course this is much more of a danger for you if you're a three-headed dog guarding Hades(!)  I decided in this case two wrongs made a right and there were too many legitimate entires, it was a real word, if obscure; removed the [sic], and moved along.

A few minutes later I read in the depo: "Upon catheterization the patient had advanced disease in three arteries."

I sat there quiet a minute.  It all made sense now.  Three arteries; one per head, apparently.  Sometimes you just admit defeat when it's stacked up unanimously against you, like Mr Douglas in "Green Acres"...

Now I don't know how truly funny this is to somebody without their head up their 455 and still neckdeep in deadlines, but there it is; it happened, and it happened to me.

 

—Ron Copis